MARK GAMMILL
POETRY - STORIES - NECROSHADE
POETRY
WRITTEN BY MARK GAMMILL
Recurring
Many years now gone by
she’d left without a word
at a little all night café
a door opening heard
in walked an old friend
I’d loved without condition
like a hallucination
a dark haunting vision.
The rain she brought in
fell soft on the floor
she moved to a table
not far from the door
the return of the past
like a fast moving storm
in a small restaurant
familiar and warm.
Her eyes raised and stared
directly at me
how familiar the pain
and would always be
unable to move
I just looked away
its only a dream
is all I could say.
Then awaking I found
the clock by the bed
again 3am
flashing in red
a long distant thunder
like an echo from the past
these recurring dreams of you
how long will they last.
Moonlight
High Sierra roads
the car radio plays
summer nights were long
even longer than those summer days
sleeping bags in the trunk
her perfect smile on passenger side
arriving at a deep forest grove
after a long and dangerous ride.
With the car top down
the smell of fresh mountain pine
we listened to our favorite tunes
and drank a lot of our favorite wine.
Her dark enchanting eyes
I was lost within the spell
was our love just an illusion
it was hard for me to tell
the smell of her dark brown hair
the feel of her body on mine
ignoring the simple truth
it was easy to be so blind.
Looking far into the heavens
knowing our future wasn’t bright
holding her for the last time
shadows forming in the moonlight.
Forgiving Love
Walking down along this familiar shore
I wonder where you are
looking hard into the darkness
far beyond the shining stars
I wish you here beside me
walking late along the pier
there will always be this space
an empty place without you near.
Having come so far
having the need to find this place again
missing all the certain love
of a best and dearest friend
pier lights glow along the waves
a deep and restless sea
reminding of a past
that was never meant to be.
I hope you find your peace
and all you were dreaming of
never forget the beauty
of such a pure and forgiving love.
Sunset
I’ll remember you at sunset
when the light begins to dark
I’ll remember you at sunset
when walking alone at the park
I’ll remember you at sunset
when the stars begin to show and guide
I’ll remember you at sunset
and all of our love until I die.
Night
Winter night in a house built for two
without you here the life of this place we knew
is gone and left just walls and dust
and pictures of the pain
the reason for the loss of you
was never to me explained.
Qak fire light
cabernet and cold outside
faintly falling snow
every piece another memory
of a place I can no longer go.
3 am
I’m wearing thin
faint shadows on the wall
the hopeless wish the night would end
if only you would call.
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Dark Road
Walking down this road again tonight
trying to find my way home
I walk past your house
thoughts of you alone
from the roadside I watch
the warm light shine from your room
I long for your love
though I know no time soon.
Lighthouse
Love is forgiving and forever
honest and always
constant and pure
all that was and all that's new
love is true
love is true.
Never against or what for
giving all and much more
unselfishly there
in the face of it all
close and there willing
if ever the call.
For the first and the last
for the truth and the right
never giving up hope
back and forth with the light
shining and searching
a dark and restless sea
for the mere breath of a hope
that will find again
you and me.
Over & Over
Chasing over and over the same broken dreams
staring at an empty glass more and more it seems
trying hard to lose the pictures of you in my head
though I try I still see your dark brown eyes instead.
Bartender orders another shot for the pain
for you my friend he says
another one of the same
neon glowing
memories flowing
bleeding far into the past
over and over
hardly ever sober
how much longer will it last.
3 am
sleepless night again
hearing your soft voice in the rain
reoccurring dreams
the long and endless scenes
of losing you again.
In a quiet room
I cannot move
the ghost of your face at the end
no matter how hard I tried
your words goodbye
rang over and over again.
In a pool of red
on the floor near the bed
an old photograph of you
how sad it is
to have come to this
what else was I to do.
Across The Stars
I‘ll look for you across the stars
now and then
near and far
I’ll look for you across the stars
to find a way
to change the end
of losing love
of my dearest friend
the light I saw
through dark clouds of night
I’ll never forget
shining far and bright
I will be there
if ever you look so far
and wait for you
across the stars.
One For The Road
Just one for the road
the lost promise of love
with nothing left to show
the sacred truth you lose
and never really come to know
another one for lost hope
and another one
last one for the road.
They’re closing the bar
a familiar patron yawns
the sun also rises
a short time until dawn
empty bottle of vodka
falls and rolls on the floor
dimming neon lights
leaving to find a hard liquor store.
Sad song we once knew
on the radio plays
haunting my lost soul
more than I can take
now paying the toll
to cross a dark bridge
distant city lights glow
I’m staring down from the edge.
No sound I can hear
against the hard falling rain
one last step I could take
ending all of this pain
It’s more than I can bear
too full of this load
here’s to you my lost love
one last one for the road.
Holding Her
Zipping up her jacket
I would to keep her warm
all of the while
my heart lost and torn
she would open and love
and touch once again
this promise of trust
the promise of friends.
Rushing water cold
rushing past a hard stand
if she would slip and fall
I knew that my hand
would not let her go
or fall far from me
her care was my first
and would always be.
Too many memories now
too hard to recall
every good one
darken by the end
and so after all
until the day I die
one thing will be sure
I will long for her love
and alone holding her.
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Her Grave
So full of life and wonder
beauty and love in your eyes
how could it all change I wonder
loss of love and life.
Darkness falls I cannot find
without your presence near
without your joy and laughter
with only the pain and tears.
I think of how we parted
I never understood
why you left the way you did
I never thought you would.
I will so miss your heart
wish we would have had the time
to talk of how things changed
and try and make things right.
So sad the way it ends my love
but I do promise to return
from time to time with flowers
and with a love we never learned.
Carmel
Dinner for two
beneath the stars
sipping house chablis
how beautiful you are
sincere smiles
candles fading low in the wind
always like this?
always love?
always friends?
Our deepest desires
games we played to the end
games of chance and love
we both knew we’d never win.
Ocean waves
filling open shallow graves
the smell of her undernourished skin
the rolling tides
the endless nights
places we should have never been.
Watching the sun rise
her young body lies sleeping
from too much wine and gin
cool morning breeze
she was soon to leave
and I’d never see her again.
Loss
This cold empty house
the long abandoned halls
no more hearing your sweet voice
no long awaited calls
no familiar car you drove
in the driveway parked
no more long talks with you
as the neighbor’s dog barked
no fine cabernet to share
by low candlelight
no more making love with you
late into the night
no secret words or phrases
only best of friends know
no more staying out too late
with familiar places to go
no more warmth in the bed
for me to hold or to touch
no one here to tell I love you
or need you so much
no clothes left hung in the closet
or note left to be read
only emptiness here now
as I lay in our bed.
In Your Eyes
In your eyes an innocent child
in your eyes lost and wild
in your eyes everything that’s right
in your eyes as dark as night.
In your eyes I found my home
in your eyes now I’m left alone
in your eyes forever you’d stay
in your eyes now far away.
In your eyes I saw so much
in your eyes I could never touch
in your eyes you’ll never let go
in your eyes your wayward soul.
In your eyes were beautiful dreams
in your eyes now painful scenes
in your eyes I once could trust
in your eyes no longer love.
In your eyes I once saw a friend
in your eyes now see the end
in your eyes are goodbye tears
in your eyes what I always feared.
In your eyes I’ll remember us
in your eyes the last picture of
in your eyes I no longer see
in your eyes you and me.
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Footprints
Remembering her in the water
remembering her across the sand
remembering our short time together
walking slowly hand in hand.
Surfers searching for the perfect wave
summer girls laying exposed to tan
she was splashing softly falling
into the water as we ran.
Watching the sun setting too quickly
turning our precious day into night
a sure sign of what was to come
the darkening evening twilight.
Pier lights glowing
high tide rolling
evening stars beginning to shine
our last night together
will haunt me forever
not knowing what was on her mind.
She was always a little sad
you could tell that she had
a lot hidden beneath her surface glow
I seldom thought our love
would ever be for her enough
and soon out of it she’d flow.
We were sleeping on the beach
she was close enough to reach
wrapped in a blanket warm and tight
but she would soon slip away
its still hard for me to say
I awoke and she was gone out of sight.
In the moonlight I searched around
looking far then looking down
I saw her small footprints in the sand
they went straight into the waves
her chosen path an ocean grave
something I will never ever understand.
Heart Of Mine
Only you helped me through the night
only you made everything right
only you sheltered me from the rain
only you comforted me from the pain.
Only you went the extra mile
only you always made me smile
only you gave me faith to go on
only you helped me when things went wrong.
Only you I loved so much
only you I long to touch
only you I hope someday to find
only you back in this heart of mine.
Too Late
I never thought that I would hear
so many words you said
a testament against a love
now gone and dead.
I wish you all the love
your heart can forever hold
it is now too late
to change the end of us
my love, I am now lost
I will not see your dark brown eyes again
or hear the calls from you
like so many nights
a love that you might
have felt was worth more than you did give
I no longer live within a world
with a chance for us to make up for all
we now leave behind
one last call I made to you
but you had no time to perhaps find a way
and so, your words today spoken at my grave
will not pass through and the tears from you
are all in vain, the regret and pain
are yours to keep, I'm underground
darkness fills, no subtle sound
a single rose upon a stone
with love you now place
but I’ll never know
you came too late.
Faith
Don’t give up when life gets hard
don’t give up when things are falling apart
have faith my friend until the end
that the sun will soon rise and shine bright again.
Smile my friend God is by your side
he will steady you against the heavy tide
of trouble and sadness that cause so much pain
soon the sun will break through the dark clouds & rain.
There’s a miracle waiting for you
that'll heal your heart
a sincere prayer from you is the key to the start
then put your faith in God who is always there
his light will soon shine through all the despair.
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The End
Our time together now gone
I will so miss your heart
the poetry and songs
until the very end I’ll always care
as deep as love would ever dare
so go find your peace but forever know
I will always hold a place within my soul
for you and I to find a way
and change the past so lost and torn
no matter how long or old or worn
a faithful soul I will not let go
without you here and close again
redemption love sincere
until the end, until the end.